Sin Wagon (Chicken Piccata)

There's a 70% chance I ate something from every vendor seen in this photo.

I fell off the Health Food wagon this weekend, and I fell HARD. I'm not sure that I was ever completely on it to begin with, but I certainly lost whatever holding I previously had. A little event rolled around this weekend in my neighborhood called Bunte Republik Neustadt, which was a street festival that lasted from late Friday afternoon until Sunday evening. Street festivals are personally dangerous to me for a few reasons, but there is really only one worth mentioning: I have such a weakness for food that comes on a stick, or food that comes in a little paper plate with a little fork, or food that just comes wrapped in a napkin. Street food. I love street food. In the same way that I love food that is served at graduation parties (is this an appropriate time to mention that I had an entire pig, cooked over a fire pit, at my graduation party?). For whatever reason, the appeal of that hotdog multiplies tenfold if I see it being sold on the street. I don't know if it is the raised prices, or the slightly stale bun, or the greasy, pulled back hair of the person working the booth, but once I get it in my mind that I want one, I cannot let it go. I'm just going to be blunt. I ate the following things at this street fest: a pack of sushi, stir-fried noodles, two egg rolls (which were really more like grease rolls, but I ate them), a piece of cake, fries, Currywurst, and then more fries. I was also in line to buy a crepe, but saw as I was about to order that they didn't have any cheese crepes, only healthier fruit ones. So naturally, I chucked up the peace sign and walked back to my table, shoulders hanging in self-pity. That was probably a sign from the universe that I had already pushed the limits of my gastrointestinal tubes to their absolute breaking point.

Double take. Did I just see...a University of Michigan flag? Heck yes, I did!

I wish I could say that I started this week off on the right foot. I had every intention to do so. Really, it's all a blur what happened this morning, but I know that it involved me purchasing both a ham-and-cheese croissant (Schinken-Käse Croissant) and a chocolate croissant (Schokocroissant) from the bakery before I went to class. The details are fuzzy, but I also know that by the time I got onto the train fifteen minutes later, both of them were completely gone, and the only bits of evidence left in Dresden, Germany of their existence were the flakey, buttery crumbs clinging pathetically to my facial hair, and a dopey, satisfied grin splattered across my face. I'll publicly maintain that I had intended on only eating one of them before class, and saving the other, but I think that somewhere deep down, that fatty inside of me knew that I would devour both like a bat out of hell, participating in an imagined croissant-eating contest in which I was the only participant. Whether I won or lost is up for debate. However, after I realized what I had done (chocolate-covered fingers were exhibit A), I proceeded to drink about a gallon of water. I have a scientifically unsound theory that I can drink massive amounts of water to cancel out the effects of greasy food. It's good; you should try it.

Faux moustaches really are all the rage at the street fest.

Recipe Commentary (Took a while, but we got here!)

So naturally, I don't want to shock my body too much by going too quickly back to health food. That just won't work. So I'm taking it slow with tonight's meal- Chicken Piccata. It's not exactly the healthiest preparation of chicken that I've ever seen (just like Megan Fox isn't the best actress I've ever seen), but it will just have to do! The truth is that I absolutely love this dish. It has two of my favorite ingredients- lemon and capers, and it is really hard to screw up. This was one of the first things that I made when I really started cooking last year, and I've made it probably ten times since then, and everyone really seems to enjoy it. It comes from my treasured cookbook from my favorite little Italian pixie-elf chef goddess, Giada de Laurentiis.

Yes, all these pictures are mine! (To answer the question of a loyal reader)

Normally, I would do everything totally by the book with this recipe. It has always yielded great results as such. However, I ran into a little snag along the way this go-round. Just before I started to get my cook on, my roommate came up to me and said that he had to film an interview in in thirty minutes in the living room/dining room/kitchen and asked if I would stay in my room during it. Uh, hello, do you SEE the capers in my hands? Capers mean business. Delicious, salty business. But of course, I consented. The recipe doesn't take thirty minutes. It's a quick recipe. However, I can't cook when I have a time limit. I like to be relaxed and take my time. But SOMEBODY saw to it that that wouldn't happen! So in a nervous frenzy, I was eyeballing all the measurements, squeezing lemons with my bare hands, tearing up parsley with my fingers, and never once allowing my sauce mixture to thicken. Needless to say, I wouldn't recommend this method if any of you decide you want to try this recipe on your own! Bottom line: love this recipe, has some great flavors, and I would definitely recommend it!

I'm such a professional food photographer that I leave wrinkles in my napkins.

Ingredients

• 2 skinless and boneless chicken breasts, butterflied and then cut in half
• Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• All-purpose flour, for dredging
• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 5 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
• 1/2 cup chicken stock
• 1/4 cup brined capers, rinsed
• 1/3 cup fresh parsley, chopped

Directions

Season chicken with salt and pepper. Dredge chicken in flour and shake off excess.

In a large skillet over medium high heat, melt 2 tablespoons of butter with 3 tablespoons olive oil. When butter and oil start to sizzle, add 2 pieces of chicken and cook for 3 minutes. When chicken is browned, flip and cook other side for 3 minutes. Remove and transfer to plate. Melt 2 more tablespoons butter and add another 2 tablespoons olive oil. When butter and oil start to sizzle, add the other 2 pieces of chicken and brown both sides in same manner. Remove pan from heat and add chicken to the plate.

Into the pan add the lemon juice, stock and capers. Return to stove and bring to boil, scraping up brown bits from the pan for extra flavor. Check for seasoning. Return all the chicken to the pan and simmer for 5 minutes. Remove chicken to platter. Add remaining 2 tablespoons butter to sauce and whisk vigorously. Pour sauce over chicken and garnish with parsley.

I might have licked the plate clean after this.